Category Archives: spirituality and beliefs

Ash Wednesday

I can’t say I’m a good Catholic girl, I don’t go to church every Sunday… I haven’t been to confessions for many years… And I almost forgot that today is Ash Wednesday.

A couple of nights ago my flatmate mentioned that Ash Wednesday was coming, I seriously thought I had 1 more week to prepare for lent. I felt awful when I realized that I have missed the preparation period again.

This morning I got up about 40 minutes before the morning mass. Getting ready in speedy mode and walking very fast still didn’t get me there on time. I arrived 10 minutes late, just moments before the Pastor blessed the Ashes. Despite being sweaty and huffing & puffing by the time I got to church, I was still glad that I made it to the mass.

Later on, I tracked down “The Little Black Book” of Lent… Normally I’d get one from church, but somehow this year they decided not to have any, a couple of phone calls and another power walk later I was reading the Ash Wednesday prayer at my desk :)

I will not elaborate what my goals are and what I’d be doing for Lent this year, because they are private matters, but I wish that everyone has a good start to Lenten season :)

God bless you

– Fi


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Back to Nature

I am ashamed to say that I’m not as fit as I used to. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I didn’t see the person I wished to see. Sure, I’m more mature, I could see the learning or “age” in my eyes, but I felt out of balance and not being able to stand up for myself lately. An incident at work made me realize that.

So then I picked up a book on Yoga. I’m always a natural healing kind of person, I’d go to alternative healers, use organic products, use herbs, and although I don’t do it as often as I used to, I meditate. What surprised me was that all those activity I used to do years ago, had Yoga movements in it… so without me knowing, I’ve been doing Yoga for a good chunk of my life. And when I stopped, it took me this long to realize that the lack of these exercises could be the source of why I’m feeling out of whack.

I started small… by meditating, and putting my shield up at the start of the day. So far I haven’t been doing this everyday, but my goal is to make this a part of my everyday routine. Then I started working with crystals and gemstones again, and back to requesting the help from nature’s positive energy. It is a slow process, but if I could get back to feeling as healthy, as fit, as energetic as I was in the past, I will give it a go, even if it takes such long time.

What I found during my meditation was the fact that I haven’t been loving myself during those years of absent (from activities). There was a major turn around in my life when I decided that “I” come first, that I was finally able to see all these destructive attitude have been damaging not only my physical body, but also my mentality and spirituality. A lot of my past actions were impulses resulting from the unbalance energies in my body, and now I am trying to turn my life around and be on the right path that’s best for my wellness.

Maybe the key to be a mature woman lies in the balance of energy within oneself. It makes sense when you put it that way. But the method is not for everyone, as technology and medicine are evolving, there are less people in this world trust what they cannot see.

The question is, do you need to see to believe it?



Easter 2010

Oh wow! It’s the Holy Week already! Easter is coming in really fast! Ash Wednesday actually took me by surprise this year. I wasn’t exactly prepared to go on lent, I only knew it a day before Ash Wednesday started. But I managed to get on gear and went with it. I slipped once during lent, totally forgot about it.

Easter is a special time, I do enjoy the hot cross buns, the easter eggs, and the fact that I’ve finished lent. This year, I truly learned how hard it is not to have a certain things in my daily life (things that I give up for lent) and for each Sunday (mini Easter), I celebrated a little bit that I can welcome back those things I gave up for lent.

The holy weekend for me, is a time to reflect on my wrong doings and be more appreciative of a few things I already have in my life After Easter, I hope that I’ll be more appreciative of the things I have now and not take it for granted. Yes, I wished to go away for Easter, in a way it’s a kind of retreat for me, take myself away from my normal surrounding and be somewhere else where I can see how beautiful the world I live in is.

To some, it is a long weekend full of parties, to others it’s the holy week and celebration. I was laughed at last year, when I went off to mass on Holy Thursday while everyone else were drinking. Well, everyone can choose their own way of celebrating the weekend, as long as it doesn’t invade other people’s privacy or bothering them, then it’s not a problem.

So what does Easter mean to you? How are you celebrating the Easter long weekend?

Happy Easter :)


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Posted by on March 28, 2010 in spirituality and beliefs


See it to believe it?

Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active – Edith Hamilton

This is an intro about my belief systems, as I do plan to write a bit more on it further along the line. I have come across a lot of friends who don’t agree with my belief… some just have a different belief and simply disagree with mine, while others simply don’t understand the belief and couldn’t help but to bitch about it.

Here’s the tricky part, not everyone belief the same thing I do. I was raised a Catholic, went to Catholic school all my live, but I also believe in other things like re-incarnation, spirits, alternative healings, and other spiritual and mystical things. I say my prayers every day, but I also meditate, practice holistic healing, and believe in a lot of superstitious things.

I believe in God, I believe that there is a higher force, and I believe that the body has everything it needs to heal itself, but sadly technologies have made modern human to be too dependent on medicines, however, I do believe that a little dose is needed to boost body function when needed.

I have friends who are very religious up to an extreme, and I’d say, if they’re happy, then it’s good for them. As long as they don’t start forcing people to take up on their belief then I think it’s fine. I have my own way of manifesting my belief, and I don’t expect others to understand it. In the end, when it comes to faith, it sometimes only make sense to you and no one else.

There were a lot of times when I found myself praying all morning, even while I was working. Other times, I’d find myself meditating with crystals or perhaps dowsing. In some world they’re a polar opposite, but both methods work for me. Perhaps the religious people would frown on the spiritual things I do, but perhaps people who aren’t religious at all would think it is silly that I go on lent, or go to church. I don’t care what they think, faith is something that is mine and mine alone, it is a private matter between me and the Man “upstairs”.

So when it comes to faith… I only have to ask myself one question, “Am I happy?”. So far, I am… and it doesn’t bother me if other people think it’s wrong or think it’s silly.



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