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Category Archives: love life

Girl’s handbag and the modern romance

This is something I see a lot in Asian country. I even had the experience of having my handbag carried by my male companion at the time (I didn’t ask for it). I found it a little bit awkward, not really because of a man carrying a feminine bag, but more about the fact that I was capable of carrying my handbag. I can understand if the man would offer his help when his lady was carrying multiple bags, heck I’d even offer to my partner and my girlfriends if they’re carrying more than one bag, or if I know that one of the bags is heavy. With my partner it’s the opposite, I had to ask for his help, which in a way pissed me off. He saw I was carrying something heavy, it doesn’t cost a thing to offer help, but at the same time I knew he saw me as capable of taking care of myself. Sure, I’m not the girl in high heels type, I’m more of a girl in boots type, and I can fight, but that didn’t mean that I don’t appreciate being treated like a girly girl once in awhile.

However, this post isn’t really about man carrying their lady’s bag, but it was about manners, courtesy, gestures, courtship (if that even still exist). I know it’s a thing of the past, but I don’t see a reason of why it shouldn’t be practiced. In my home country I find that people have this sort of unrealistic ideals about their partners (I’m talking about the pre-marriage couples or soon to be couples). Too often I came across someone who poured his/her heart out for someone they don’t even know that well just to have a chance of going out with the person. I think it’s sweet (though sometimes it could be too much). But my point is, these days, I found the lack of romance in modern society.

A few months back I admitted to my partner that I was hoping that he would have asked me out on a date when we just started seeing each other. But that never came. Dinners at restaurants are not the same thing as a date. I told him that I was really hoping he would properly ask me to go out on a date with him, then being picked up, and have the experience of being wooed. Being asked out on a date is a flattering experience, which only happened twice in my history of love life. Once by my ex (who turned out to be a manipulative jerk), and second by one of my closest friend (which I turned down, I couldn’t see him as more than good friend). I don’t think dates happen often these days anymore, which is quite a shame.

I guess I’m a hopeless romantic who believes in love at first sight and prince charming on a white horse (not literally of course). On anniversaries, I don’t need fancy things, I’d be more than happy with chocolates or little gestures. It’s not the materials that I’m after, but it was the thought of being remembered and that the day of us being united is celebrated.

I think romance is almost dead these days, well movies don’t count – I thought I should just get it out there. If you have experience of being wooed that you’d like to share, please do :)

-Fi

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Posted by on September 14, 2011 in Attitude, love life

 

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And the chocolates go to….

Me!!!! This is the continuation to my post on Monday.

On Tuesday, he proudly presented to me, 3 batches of home made chocolate he had made especially for me… I was so happy… not only they look amazing, but they taste soooo goooooooooood…. they’re all in my favourite flavours. They’re all 80% dark chocolate and they’re dairy free!!!!! How amazing is that?! I was soooooo HAPPY :) The home made goodness and thoughts that are put into the making of the chocolates have made it the best chocolate I have ever tasted, I was very very very happy.

-Fi

 
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Posted by on March 16, 2011 in love life

 

Why is chocolate so important on Valentine’s day?

Type in that question on Google and the answer will come to you, especially the ones that cover the history of chocolate during the Aztec time and how they were valued so highly during those times. We seem to have taken chocolate for granted these days.

I myself am a huge fan of chocolate, however, my intolerance to lactose prevents me from having those widely available in the market. Not that I mind though, I prefer dark chocolates, the darker the better… I normally would chose 70% or more, so when I had to give up dairy, I found no trouble on adjusting to only being able to have non-dairy chocolates. I guess I take that after my late Grandfather who loved his dark chocolate. I first came across it when I tried Dad’s chocolate and absolutely loved it, and Dad said how it was my Grandad’s favourite too.

To me, chocolate serves more than just sweet goodness… chocolate is a symbol of health, abundance, and love. Some may say that chocolate is a “lazy” kind of present for any occasion, however, when a chocolate is chosen specifically for that person, with much care and thought, I found it to be one of the most flattering choice of gifts. The flavours not only represent the personality of the giver, but also what he or she thinks about the recipient. It cannot get any more personal than that.

As in regards to my intolerance, I found that a chocolate chosen specifically for me, or made for me, and I could eat without having to take any supplement means the world to me.

Given the history of Valentine’s day, the version I heard was that St Valentine performed secret marriage ceremonies for young soldiers who were forbidden to marry due to their duty. The day is a celebration of love and commitment, hence chocolate is the traditional gift for the occasion, and given the history of chocolate, it is very appropriate.

In Japan, women give chocolates to the men, while on White Day (exactly one month after Valentine’s day), the men return the favour to the women. I don’t celebrate the occasion, but I am no stranger to the concept, many of my friends celebrate it, the country I’m from is familiar with some Japanese cultures and traditions, and in addition, I have dated a Japanese man in the past.

The last two Valentine’s day however, I have been left empty handed. My parents used to give me chocolates and we used to go out for dinner, and since I left home my parents would call on the day just to say “Happy Valentine’s Day”. But last year and this year, the day was a big disappointment for me.

Last year I didn’t get any chocolate and this year, even after I’ve told my partner how much chocolate means to me and how important it is to receive chocolate on Valentine’s day, I was still left empty handed. If I say I was disappointed, it was an understatement. Not only I was disappointed, but I was angry, sad, deeply hurt, and feeling neglected and disrespected. I was disappointed and hurt that he didn’t notice the importance of these traditions to me personally, and why I was really determined to meet these expectations during these times.

At first I thought he might have heard me saying something about White Day which he was aware of, but I learned from last year that a month of waiting was fruitless.

It was White Day and I was sick of waiting for chocolates that I still have yet to receive since last year, so I took matter to my own hands. At lunch time yesterday, I went to Buttlers Chocolate… 10 minutes and $11.40 later, I walked out with a bag of gourmet chocolate wrapped nicely in a bag with yellow ribbon to seal it. Sure, I didn’t get dairy free chocolates, but that’s beside the point.

So here’s the question, if you know that your partner could be made very happy with something so simple, wouldn’t it be worth the 10 minutes of effort that you put into it?

-Fi

UPDATE: He made me chocolates :) Turns out that my waiting this year wasn’t fruitless :)

Images from http://www.sxc.hu/
 
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Posted by on March 14, 2011 in love life

 

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