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Monthly Archives: December 2010

Not because I can’t…

I recently got into this discussion many many many times with many different people, from the closest to the person who I only know on a hi, how are you basis. Maybe it’s a sign that I should start???

The problem is, one of my ex’s has called me a lousy girlfriend because I didn’t cook. Can you believe that? Really?? Then too bad because I could, and I didn’t cook often because I didn’t (and still don’t) enjoy cooking. Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean that it’s a given that I must cook. I cook to get by, I cook for myself because then no one complains about how bad my cooking is, but it didn’t mean that I won’t cook at all. When I feel the urge to cook, I will cook for others, and when it is absolutely¬†necessary, I would cook even when I don’t feel like it, just don’t complain about how it tastes. My lasagna and macaroni schotel have good reputations that surpassed my circle of friends, but of course these aren’t considered cooking… it’s baking. Anyone can cook, but not necessarily everyone of them enjoy it.

All this is coming from a girl who managed to screw up a Mediteranian Salad…. YES, a freaking salad!!!! How pathetic is that? It’s not like I didn’t try. Oh I tried and I tried and I tried to cook, and I have tried and forced myself to enjoy the activity, but nothing works. Not even when I’m cooking something I enjoy.

My daily cooking is limited to fried rice/noodles, or perhaps soups just because they’re easy, but when I wanted, I’d make baked food because that’s what I enjoy… baking…. it’s been awhile since I baked though, ever since I found out about my food intolerances, I haven’t baked since. I didn’t know what I wanted to bake and I quite frankly didn’t feel like baking. I guess I’m still broken hearted from the fact that I can’t have food I love the most due to my intolerances. I’ve gotten over it though, I’m enjoying my new diet and lifestyle, but I haven’t really got myself back into baking.

I’ve been to cooking classes since I was 4 years old, while my late grandma was responsible for my baking abilities (thank you Grandma). That’s just it… I don’t enjoy cooking. But I will cook if I absolutely have to.

Maybe I’m just not geared to cook. I do become very self¬†conscious about the issue. It is a touchy subject when someone points it out. It hurts!

It is a flaw and I have come to accept in a hard way, so the only thing I could only hope for is for others to stop prodding at the issue, is that too hard? Maybe one day I miraculously gain the natural ability to cook, who knows? For the mean time, just please let it be.

-Fi

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2010 in Attitude